I didn’t
see it, but I see it now.
I want a
real relationship between men and woman. I need a guy, who will be the first,
who invites me to the date, who gives flowers, who spends some hours, waiting
for me behind my doors. I said, that this kind of guys aren’t exist, but where
actually I was looking for? In the dark streets of industrial city, which are
slightly dying? I’m mad. Really. What was the point to say that sex – is only a
product, and marriage – is not important?
I forgot
about first date, first kiss, first touches, and first sex. The minute, when
you don’t feel the time, the glance, full of modesty, the passion, which is
trembled your knees. I get used to find the hopeless guy with typical problem
and describing his miserable behavior, becoming his lover, always being the
first, who say: “I love you”. No. It’s not true.
I find my
position very funny, because today I was laughing from my ex-boyfriend, who is
still indecisive, and was trying to kiss me in a silly way. However, yesterday
I was in the same position. I’d written the love letter to the cowardly guy,
which is not worthy of me, before I realized that I didn’t stand up for my
feelings. I just miss the time, when I wasn’t alone.
What’s
more, I become quite irritated now, remembering all these boys, who are still
sure that woman’s vagina is the key answer. And I also can’t settle down,
because always when I and my boyfriend break up, all the guys from all
instances, begun to hunt me, while I’m hardly breathing.
Nevertheless,
what is the most important thought today, is my desire to begin everything
again, bearing in mind, that I’m clever, young and beautiful, and I need
someone, who will comprehend it (like the fact, that I’m in Louboutin and
Prada). Someone, who has courage to make me happy, not only succeed in fuck me.
Even if I have to wait a long time, even if I become to feel really lonely, I’m
ready. I’m ready to the new level, where I’m a woman, with strange character,
strong thoughts and awesome ass.
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